Lately I’ve been having the urge to write again, just to clear my head. I was shocked to see that it has been over a year since my last post and unfortunately not surprised I only had blogged twice. 2016 kicked my butt.
I tried so hard to be happy and focus on the positive, but more often than not I failed. The impending deployment was a huge dark cloud that followed my family around, as it got nearer my stress and anxiety grew (and dance eventually became depression) . It affected our plans of buying a house, and affected relationship my boyfriend and I had. My daughter turned one, and then my boyfriend deployed a month later. I felt abandoned and hopeless, my world spiraled out of control.
Now he has been gone for almost 4 months and we are powering through, or doing our best to. Im not going to lie I hate this lifestyle, and feel like we sacrificed a year of our lives. What’s done is done though so we are making the best of it. My daughter is still the light of my life and even though 2016 was rough, I maintained my calm mama cool (99% of the time.)
I think this blog has evolved, now I am attempting to be a mama that is calm in the face of the storm. All storms that is, whether it be rocky relationships, deployments (which is really just a serious of stotms) or terrible toddler tantrums. I got it.
I still love holding her tight and running my fingers through her hair, watching her drift off to dream land.
More posts to come, good days and bad days both.